If I Wasn't Born
by Butterfly Kitty
Summary: Jack and Kim get into a fight. Things are said, and one is left wanting to die. Then that one starts to realize what the other's life would be like if that happened.
1. The Argument

**_Hey guys!_**

**_So now that I'm finished with "Anger Management" I decided to do a majestic little oneshot/twoshot/threeshot thing that has a popular summary/backstory but would be fun to write._**

**_On a completely unrelated note… holy shit I saw the musical "We Will Rock You" earlier this week and holy fuckballs it was amazing! I had never seen it before in my life and omg I completely fell in love with the Galileo and Scaramouch pairing! So if you're a fan, I maybe might write something for "We Will Rock You" so look out for that ;P And also, I forgot to say that I also saw "Chicago!" over the summer and I loved the Cell Block Tango and Velma and just everything, so I might write for that too. _**

**_Okay… ONWARD!_**

"Stupid, self-absorbed asshole!"

"You are being such a bitch!"

Kim and I walked into the dojo, fighting as we walked. I can't even remember… wait, it had something to do with Ariana and Kaitlin fluffing my hair and flirting with me… I think. But Kim was being so ridiculous, saying how stupid I was and how I was a player and how I let the girls all flirt with me.

"Oh, I'm the bitch? _You're_ the one who let those girls flirt with you when _we _were in the movie theater getting tickets!" Kim shouted.

"So? A, we're not dating so I can let whoever I want flirt with me, and B, who says I let them anyway?" I yelled back.

"You gave that Kaitlin chick your number!"

"So?"

"And your landline, and your address!"

"Oh, so now you're my wife?"

"No, I would never marry an egotistical fake!"

"Okay, you know what? Get out of here. Go away!"

"Get out of my life!"

"I wish I never met you!"

"I wish you were never born!"

Her words stung. I didn't want them to, but they did. They burned and stung and stabbed and jabbed at my stomach and my heart and I had to clench my fists to stop myself from kicking the blonde girl.

"Good, maybe if I wasn't born I wouldn't have to put up with a total bitch like you," I growled, storming over to my locker. I grabbed my gi, slammed it shut, and went to the bathroom to change.

Once in the bathroom I sank down the wall with my head in my hands. Kim _really_ didn't want me in her life, hell, she didn't want me to be alive! I let a tear slip down my face.

"Just let me die," I muttered. "She'll be happier without me."

Then darkness overcame my vision and I lost my sense of reality.

-/-

When I woke up I was still in the bathroom.

"Shit, I must've passed out," I muttered.

"Damn right you did."

I yelped. Bobby Wasabi stood over me, a floating, translucent figure.

"Bobby Wasabi… but you died last year when your hot air balloon propelled by a million doves ran into the airplane!" I cried.

"Yes, yes, I know, I'm a ghost." He smiled and waved his semi-transparent hand.

"So… I'm dead?" I asked. "Good, Kim is probably so much happier."

"Wrong, and wrong. You are just unconscious, this is a dream because you, my friend, are really stupid and you need to learn a lesson." Bobby knelt down to my level. "I'm going to show you what life is like without you. And you're gonna have to decide if you really wanna die or not. M'kay?"

"Whatever," I said.

"But first…" Bobby snapped his fingers and a container of food appeared in his hands. "Care for some baba ganoushe?"

**_Don't worry, the next chapter will be longer, I promise! Review!_**


	2. The Reality Without Me

**_TRIGGER WARNING – DARK SCENES AHEAD!_**

"Ow!"

"Oh, sorry, I'm still working on the way we land after teleportation."

"Well not upside-down would be nice!" I rubbed the bump on my head as I stood up. "Where are we anyway?"

"Kim's room. I'm going to show you how a day would be like for Kim if you weren't alive, then maybe show you one other scene…" Bobby trailed off. I heard a thump. "Ah. It's starting. This is actually how Kim's home life is whether you're alive or dead. That part won't change either way, but it is only worse and… ya just watch the scene."

More thumping. The bedroom door swung open and passed right through us. I jumped but Bobby didn't seem fazed by it.

"Kimberly Crawford!" A man in his forties burst through the door. The bed in the corner of the vast room moved as a teenage girl pulled herself out of bed.

"Yes Dad?" she grumbled. The man – her father – crossed the floor to stand in front of her (while walking through my apparently-non-existing body.) Kim cowered under her father's burly figure. Bobby took my hand and dragged me behind him as we floated over to get a better look. As Kim's father raised his hand up, I watched in horror as he slapped the petite blonde across the face. She cried out in pain.

"Bitch, what time did you get home last night?" he growled.

"I-" Another hit. She cried out again.

"I heard you coming in around 10! What were you doing out so late?"

"I'm sorry! I just lost track of time!" she sobbed. "Please, stop, don't hit me again!" The man shoved Kim to the ground and kicked her in the ribs.

"It better not happen again! Now go get dressed for school!" He stormed out of the room and the blonde girl lay there on the ground, crying.

"Kimmy," I whispered, kneeling down by the crying figure. I ran my thumb over the five-star on her face, wishing she could feel me and know that I'm there for her.

"At least it wasn't as bad as normal," she whimpered to herself, getting up and walking through me to her closet.

"Okay, can I look away now?" I asked. Bobby covered my eyes, then said it was okay to look. Kim was standing there in her underwear. I cringed at how bad she looked. Her body was littered in bruises and scars. She was painfully skinny. All her ribs showed, she had a good-sized thigh gap, and her bones jutted out of her body rather disgustingly. I walked over to her and looked in the mirror at her. I was not reflected in the mirror, but I could hear Kim talking to herself.

"Worthless bitch, can't do anything right," she muttered, bending over to grab her pants. Skinny jeans. Her backbones stuck out at me. I felt along it, my fingers grazing up and between the grooves of her ribs. I cringed. She stood upright, pulling the jeans over her legs.

The skinny jeans were baggy on her body.

"Too fat," she murmured. "Lose… gotta lose more…"

"No, no, no," I whispered. "Kimmieboo, you have it all wrong…" She put a plain white tank top on, then pulled a black Queen hoodie on over it. "Bobby, why is she so skinny? And why does she think all of these things about herself?"

"Truth is Jack, she thinks this every day in real life, and her father does this every day."

"But why is she so thin?"

"Let's go to the next scene," Bobby said.

"But-"

Bobby clapped his hands together and the scene changed. I landed on my butt this time.

"Owwww," I moaned.

"Oh stop moaning Jack! Watch this scene," Bobby said, pointing to the girl I saw earlier as I stood up. Kim was at her locker, doing the combination shakily when a group of girls came up from behind, led by a girl I recognized to be Donna Tobin.

"Hey Kim," she sneered. Kim turned around, and I expected her to say something rude, but she didn't. Her face betrayed pure terror. "Get dressed in the dump again?" The girls behind her snickered. Kim said nothing. "You fat, worthless bitch, I wish you'd die." Kim looked away as Donna and the girls strutted away, laughing. Kim shut her locker quietly, crying softly to herself. As she walked away I tried to follow but Bobby grabbed me and pulled me back.

"Why did she let those girls say that about her?" I asked.

"Without you there, she has no friends. She tried to fight back the first day of high school, but gave up a week later. Now she just takes it and believes it. She never told you this, but the girls used to bully her in real life too. But that first day you came to school, she realized you were her friend, and stood up to the girls, and they only bother her once in a while now. If you weren't alive, this happens."

"She doesn't truly believe it though, does she?" I asked. Bobby nodded.

"She does. How much does she weigh?" he asked me.

"About 110, why?" I said.

"Her weight if you were never born is about… 85 pounds, and that's about 5 or 10 pounds above fatal, I'm not a doctor, but if she keeps dropping in weight her days are numbered," Bobby said.

"But why is she so skinny?" I asked.

"Don't you get it? The girl hardly eats! Because of the other girls, Kim developed serious anorexia," Bobby said. I looked away, a lump forming in my throat.

"Does she do anything else to herself?" I choked out. Bobby clapped his hands and the scene changed. All I could see was darkness as I stood up. I could hear muffled sobs in the background. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness I wished they hadn't.

I knelt down in front of the bed. I was in Kim's room again and Kim was sitting on her bed with a pocketknife in one hand pressed against the opposite wrist. Sticky red blood dripped into the palm of her hand and streamed through her fingers, leaving splatters on her legs. She moaned in pain and sadness, and dug deeper into her flesh. Her long, greasy blonde hair lay limply in her face, stuck to her cheeks by tears. I reached out to stop her, my hand going right through her. She moaned again as the knife lifted and pressed in a new spot, fresh blood welling up and spilling out.

"Kimmy, please don't," I whispered.

Kim let her head roll back, exposing her face. She closed her eyes, moaning once more as the knife went deeper into her wrist.

"Kim, you're gonna kill yourself," I said worriedly, trying to pull the knife out of her hand, even though I knew I wouldn't be able to. Kim slid down and curled up on her pillow as her father appeared in the doorway.

"I did it," he said in a scratchy voice. "I broke her."

"No…" I breathed.

"Weeelll that's enough of that," Bobby all of a sudden broke in. "Let's go see the last scene!" Before I could say anything, he clapped his hands and I had landed on my back in a pile of leaves.

"Seriously, you have got to stop doing that!" I cried. I looked around. We were in a white hallway. Doors were lined up on either side. "Where's Kim?" Bobby gestured toward one door.

"I'll wait here," he said. I tried to open the door but I couldn't grab the doorknob. As I got frustrated, Bobby sighed. "Just walk through the door dummy!" I looked at him skeptically, then I put my hand against the door. It went through. I stepped into it and my body passed through it, barely hearing the sarcastic remark about a light bulb moment from Bobby. As I recovered from the shock that _I just walked through a wall_, I saw something so horrible all I wanted to do was unsee it.

Kim – _my_ Kim – was laying there in a hospital bed, unconscious. The heart monitor wasn't flat, but her heart was barely beating.

"Kim," I cried, running over to the bed.

"Her weight is 78.3, Jack. It was too low. Her dad's beatings got worse and worse as she got weaker and weaker, and she couldn't afford to lose any more blood through cutting. They found her by the Seaford River, beaten and unconscious. She hasn't been conscious in three days." Bobby appeared by my side.

"Kim…" I whimpered, letting tears fill up my eyes.

"She is fighting a battle right now. She is fighting death, but as she gets weaker and weaker, her mind starts giving up more and more. Her body couldn't take the abuse, the self-harm, and it needed fuel she didn't supply. It's her fault she's dying."

"It's not her fault!" I said, my voice cracking. "…It's mine."

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep….._

**_Guys….. ok so next chapter shall probably be the last one…. I have really bad news._**

**_Idk if you heard already… but I read somewhere that Olivia Holt AKA Kim Crawford won't be in the next season of Kickin It._**

**_*goes and cries in a corner*_**


	3. Switching Places

**_This. Is. My. Author. Note. Enjoy. The. Chapter. I. Read. This. In. My. Head. Like. The. Way. A. Robot. Speaks._**

I cried as Bobby led me out the door.

"So," I said through tears, " if I died, she would too?" He nodded. "But she deserves to live and meet new people! She could be amazing!"

"She brought her death upon herself. She didn't want to live anymore," Bobby said.

"But why?" I asked.

"Because Jack, without you, Kim had no friends. I am a ghost. I see things, and I can go into her head and hear her thoughts. The reason she isn't the way you just saw her is because she has you. You changed everything. Every morning, no, every time her father beats her down, she erases all of the bad thoughts and replaces them with thoughts about you or thoughts about what you've said to her. Whenever the other girls are mean to her, she is confident and fights back. She doesn't starve herself because she is confident in herself. Jack, every time you even look at her she gets more confidence, because she knows you love her. You helped her to become as strong as she is today," Bobby explained. "And without you… she would lose all of this and become… that." Bobby gestured to the nurses swarming the dead body in the room. I let out a strangled sob. "…Too soon?"

"I can't do this," I said. "Send me back to the real world. I need to see Kim."

"Oh, well if you wanna see her she's right in-"

"Alive," I put in forcefully.

"Geez, alright already," Bobby said, rolling his eyes. He clapped his hands and the hallway disappeared…

-/-

I woke up still in the bathroom. I looked at my watch.

3:37 exactly.

My dream was about a half hour long. Wow.

I got up and quickly slipped into the gi that was laying on the ground. Then I got out of the bathroom. Luckily Kim and I had been the only ones there besides Rudy, who was in his office with a woman in her thirties. They'd been there a really long time…

Kim barely looked at me as I walked past her. She was sitting on the floor by the lockers looking at her phone.

"Hey," I said with a smile. She glanced up, muttered a "hi" back and looked back at her phone. "Well then," I grumbled.

_Sticky red blood dripped into the palm of her hand and streamed through her fingers, leaving splatters on her legs. She moaned in pain and sadness, and dug deeper into her flesh._

I shivered, the memory of the dream reminding me that without me, Kim's as good as dead.

_SWITCH_

"So, uh, whatcha looking at?" Jack asked, walking over to me.

"Nothing," I said quickly. I closed out of the texts from Donna. "I… I gotta go." I got up and started walking away.

"Kim, wait!" Jack started running after me, but I slipped and fell…

**_/_**

_From: Donna  
Omg kim seriously go kill urself jack would b so much better with me in his life everyone would be better if you were never born_

/

"Owww…" I groaned as I rubbed my head. I stood up. I was still in the dojo but Jack wasn't around anymore. "Figures he would leave."

"He didn't leave."

I spun around. "Bobby?"

"Yes?" he asked.

"But you're dead!"

"Ugh, please, I had to go through this with Jack. Me – ghost. You – dreaming. Now come with me."

"Why?"

"Because you think Jack's life would be better without you in it.

"…no I don't…"

"Don't act like that text didn't bother you the least bit Kim. Come."

**_Ooh filler chapter but review! I have so many ideas for next chapter omfg._**


	4. Jack's Reality

**Hey! Sorry for not updating, shits been going dooooowwwnnn…. ANYWAY READ THE STORY FORGET I SAID SHIT STUFF KAY KAY GO.**

**WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE PEASANT GO!**

"I am here to show you what Jack's life is like without you." Bobby explained.

"…Okay…" I said. "But it's probably better."

"Oh, that's what Jack said," Bobby murmured to himself.

"What?" I asked, panicking. "What did he see?" Before he could answer he clapped his hands.

"Ow!" I cried, landing on my butt in the school gym. It was empty, so I figured school had ended. "Bobby, what was that for?"

"Sorry, still working out the kinks of warping," he said. "Just watch." Jack and …Donna walked into the gym. It was really different. Jack was really muscular and built up, a lot more than normal. Donna was dressier than normal, wearing a pink sundress with sandals and a glimmering Coach purse. She dragged Jack into a corner, smirking.

"Donna, why did you bring me here?" Jack asked.

"So we can… ya know... chill," Donna said, smirking. She pulled Jack closer to her, kissing him fully and passionately. I looked away, feeling tears in my eyes.

"Like I said," I whispered. "His life is so much better without me."

Donna's bony figure was on top of Jack's muscular one. They were on the floor, completely making out.

Bobby clapped his hands.

"Seriously, stop it," I said, rubbing my head. "Or at least give me a fair warning."

"Shh this one is important!" Bobby hissed. Jack was in his room, talking on his cellphone.

"Heyyy babe," he said. He wore a muscle shirt and work-out shorts. "Yea, I got the stuff. Alright, see you then. Bye." He put his phone away, then went into his closet and pulled something out. He smiled and started cleaning off an area of his arm and pulled out a needle. He injected it into his arm.

"Bobby…" I said slowly. "What's that?"

"Anabolic steroids," Bobby said simply.

"…sorry, what? For a moment I thought you said he was using steroids."

"Yea, that's what I said."

"But why? I mean, that's just so not the Jack I know!"

"He's not the Jack you know, because you never knew him."

"But why is he using steroids?"

"You weren't there to keep him in check. He was peer pressured by his friends and his girlfriend to become bigger, faster, and stronger, and he just couldn't do it himself, so he got the help of illegal drugs."

"Wait… drugs? As in more than one?"

Bobby clapped his hands again. This time I landed on my stomach.

"Bobby, stop it!" I yelled. He gestured to where we were.

"Donna's house," he explained as I looked around, confused.

"What's with all the people?" I asked. Bobby rolled his eyes.

"It's a party, Kim," he said. "Just watch."

I watched, searching for Jack. As soon as I started giving up, I found him in the corner.

With Donna.

Donna was giving him a lap dance.

No.

I watched in horror as she rubbed herself all over Jack.

This couldn't be happening.

I looked away as Donna started stripping in front of him. She grabbed two bottles off the table next to her and handed Jack one.

"What's that?" I whispered nervously.

"Alcohol. Beer, to be exact," Bobby said.

"Stop," I whispered. "I get it now. He's…. ugh. I can't. Just, take me home."

**Short chapter is short.**

**Oh and idk really anything about drugses, just that theyre bad… so ya that's why it took so long I was researching how to take certain drugs without getting arrested…. ANYWAY, review?**


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